2012 is going to be a great year for me. How do I know? I'm going to make it happen. Forget resolutions, goals or promises that I'll try. It. Will. Happen. The last 5 weeks of 2011 were pivitol in my shift of conciousness. I have an unshaking sense of success.
Ironically it will also be a year of challenges for me as I navigate all the doctor's appointments and payments that having Sjogren's has brought into my life. There's the rheumatolgist, the ENT to do my lip biopsy, the eye doctor, the dentist, the nephrologist and of course my family doctor. In order to not overwhelm myself I'm taking it one at a time! Now that I've been approved for Medicaid I will be scheduling an appointment with the rheumatologist and go from there. My guess is that she (yup, I'm going to a place where all the rheumy's are women!) will be able to recommend which ENT I should go to for the biopsy. Or she will decide to do a different test & not that one at all (fine with me as long as we get results). After my appointment with her I'll go see my family doctor to update them. I have my monthly appointment with the nephrologist next Wednesday - and man is he gonna have a lot to deal with cuz I am now armed with even more knowledge & questions than last month. So that will be 4 down. Then it'll be the dentist - which I'm dreading as I already have tooth decay from the dry mouth & I can only imagine how many visits that will be. And then on to the eye doctor - where I will be getting new glasses as well. I know there will be follow-up appointments and more tests along the way.
But you know what? I can handle it. I can handle it head on with grace. In the past I would have blown half of these off. Partly out of fear, partly out of thinking it wasn't really necessary for me to go to all of them, and partly because I would've been too damn tired to keep up with it all. So what's changed? My outlook. Just knowing why I feel the way I do, and that there are things I can do to help make me feel better, has made all the difference to me.
Oh I forgot a very important appointment! It's with the dietician at my nephrologist's office. She's going to help me create a healthy, balanced diet tailored to my specific health issues. It won't be easy as I have a refined (aka nice way of saying picky) taste in food. But I know it is essential that I do this. And I know that I will need help with it. I've already cut out milk - which was HUGE for me! I grew up in a dairy farm town where they delivered milk to your door from the dairy where the cows where roaming free & treated humanely. But, I did it. Yes I endulged twice - both around Christmas while eating homemade Christmas cookies, which is totally justified. I've cut back on dairy in other ways and that's been tough but I've done it. The hardest is the cheese cuz I love me some cheese!!!! The second hardest has been real butter. I've cut back on red meat, eating mostly chicken or turkey meat. I haven't increased my fish intake but I will. I'm also considering switching to a gluten-free diet. I have a sneaking suspician that all these changes will suck but will make a major difference in how I feel physically.
This year I am choosing to be happy. I'm currently reading Esther & Jerry Hicks's book Ask and it is Given and one of the things that has really struck a chord deep within me is that the emotions I am feeling have a tremendous impact on the reality that I am creating. I'd love to expand on this but I'll save that for another post. However I do want to say in closing that I have created another blog. This one is a mostly a visual blog as it is my online version of a vision board. I'll be adding to and changing it often so if you're interested check it out. Manifesting my reality is going to be a huge focus for me this year. I am choosing to wake up and re-align with my spiritual path.
Look out 2012! This is my year ")